August 13, 2005
"Good morning Mrs. Hausmann.”
“Good morning Mr. Hausmann.”
Then, they shook hands. Such was the sweet daily morning ritual of a couple, both in their 90’s, aunt and uncle of my hairdresser, Ann.
They were born and lived their entire lives in Germany.
You may wonder how Ann and I got on this subject of respectful morning greetings, but I’ll get to that later.
The point is that the Hausmanns, both now deceased, began each day with respect for each other.
They shook hands. Think about it—shaking hands with your spouse when you first awaken!
As we know, however, few in this society show respect to strangers, let alone family.
Ann says she was raised that way in Germany, taught by example to shake hands with family and strangers alike.
Sadly, we admit that most of us do not tutor our offspring to show such reverence.
Fodder for another writing, no doubt, but for now, I have to wonder why this resonated so strongly with me.
The story she told reminded me of a Family Weekend we attended at one of our son’s college.
Shortly after we arrived, our son introduced us to a new friend, Stephen, Stephen’s parents, and his grandparents.
What did that entire family do but stand and shake our hands, and they did not sit down until we started to leave!
I have to confess I am not used to such wonderful manners except at business meetings.
Few people shake hands let alone stand when you approach their table.
For the record, Stephen is a first-generation Korean American.
In his family, respect and good manners are as natural as our “How y’a doin’” Midwestern greeting.
Yet, one could not help but notice that such a greeting makes one feel better.
How awkward we Americans are at something as simple and effective as shaking hands and greeting others with kind deference.
I promised to say how Ann and I began discussing respect.
Here’s how it happened.
Ann is coloring my hair. She is making different strands stand out in diverse directions with three dissimilar colors, to be exact, when in walks her husband Peewee.
Don’t be misled by his name.
Peewee is not a peewee. In fact, he is a strapping guy, retired Marine, toned and strong, even in his 60’s.
Peewee comes in whistling, walks up to Ann and says, “Good Morning Mrs. Woods.”
He then shakes my hand and greets me.
Naturally, I can’t stand up in my present state, covered with a cape and Ann working carefully on the intricacies of getting the color just right.
Peewee, who by the way, is known for his sunny disposition, greets everyone in the salon and exits singing happily to himself.
I asked, “Is he always like this?”
Ann says yes and that it is impossible to be grumpy around him especially in the mornings.
She says she wants to be cranky lots of days, but when he greets her in such a manner, her bad temper melts away.
We could be onto something here.
In this country, the closest advice we have to holding others in high opinion is probably Aretha Franklin’s.
Remember, she sang about it—R-ES-P-E-C-T.
But, what if we all began shaking hands and treating those closest around us, as well as strangers, with good manners and admiration.
It’s a heady thought.
Tom Ladwig, an old friend and veteran reporter, used to insist on simplicity in his writing as well as in life.
He had few bywords for life except these-- remember to revere others, say help me in the morning and thanks at night, and in the meantime, remember to shake hands and smile. It is all coming back to me now.
“Good night Mrs. Hausmann.”
“Good night Mr. Hausmann.”
